Summary Judgments: Black Metal 2013 Blast-a-thon

Blacker than the blackest black . . . times infinity!

It seems like about two years ago I was getting really inundated with death metal, and didn't know what to do with all of it. Lately, there's been a whole lot of black metal coming into my inbox. I didn't add it up, but I'm pretty sure it averages more than an album of black metal each day.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the albums collected here. In fact, each one of these albums got at least one full listen from me. Most of them got three or more listens. But after you've written a certain number of black metal album reviews, it's hard to come up with something fresh to say when the music doesn't stand out as innovative, exceptionally good, or exceptionally bad.

Grift: Fyra elegier

Grift is slow- to mid-paced and rougher around the edges, with a cool riff or two and a folk part or two. Every song title has at least one funny symbol over at least one of the letters, which actually for no good reason is something that appeals to me.



Monarque: Lys Noir

Monarque is aggressive and cleanly-produced, with a dramatic sense and symphonic-sounding keyboards there to add even more drama. I can't help but feel there's more to be said about this one, but it has yet to whisper in my ear.


Productions Heretiques

Primitive Man: Scorn (2013)

Hyperbolically Dark

I think I’ve heard a song or two from Clinging to the Trees of a Forest Fire, but I’ve never been all that interested in them. But the band’s vocalist/guitarist seems bent on grabbing the attention of people who share my taste. He recently became the vocalist/guitarist for Withered, the incredible blackened sludge band, and he also fronts side project Primitive Man.

Primitive Man is doomier and noisier than Withered, but there is definitely a common thread. PM also shares a few characteristics with Dragged into Sunlight, inhabiting a genre-nonspecific realm of disturbingly violent chaos where feedback squelches any sense of reprieve in the spaces between misanthropic notes.

Morne: Shadows (2013)

An Upward Glance of Beauty

Review by joanismylover, the third metal attorney.

First time Morne listener. No reference point in the discography. Don't know if this is more of the same, a complete u-turn, or adding a little flavor to the existing recipe. Long time doom fan. Lots of reference points in the catalog. Jamming Shadows. Trying to avoid the name drop reference check. Finding it difficult. But the neck is snapping, the head is nodding.

When Isis (or is it ISIS?) went adrift in the ocean, some lamented. Not this author. Bored by the recent output. When Pelican went from bringing the slow boiling thunder to "crafting songs," this reviewer lost interest. Was it only a dream? No need to wed these bands. So many great doom/sludge/"post-rock" bands out there. Rosetta. Rwake. Yob. Battilus. Samothrace. Add Morne to the list.

On My Skunk Encounter, and Paranoia

I walk my dogs in the evening. That's the only option open to me, given my hectic days. But we live on the edge of a small town, which naturally leads to the problem of skunks. A potential problem, really, but one which became an actual problem for me 13 days ago.

Now, last fall I saw a lot of skunks when I was out walking my dogs. Several within a block of my house, in fact. They were always adults, and they were always walking in that distinctive way when I saw them. I hadn't seen any since the fall, though, so I let my guard down, not watching for them, and we practically walked on top of a small one before I noticed it. The dogs managed to wriggle out of their collars. I attempted to reason with them, but in the way of dogs, reason is unpersuasive. I didn't see it spray them, but they smelled bad enough.

So, I rolled into the nearest Wal-Mart at 11:00 p.m. to buy out their supply of generic tomato juice (by the way, I got too much) and plenty of hydrogen peroxide for a solution my wife looked up on the Internet. On my way home I checked to see if the skunk was still there, to consider whether I should attempt to kill or capture it, but it was not there.

After the most traumatic night of my dogs' lives--the washing, because the spray didn't seem to bother them as bad as you might expect--the smell was mostly gone.

The next day, my wife suggested rabies might be a concern. The dogs are up on their vaccinations, but I've never been vaccinated for it. I looked it up and, sure enough, a rabid animal's saliva can get on your dog, and if it gets on you and into an open wound or mucous membrane you can catch it. This led to various phone calls, including to our vets' office, my doctor's office, and my sister-in-law texting with her veterinarian friend. Considering the encounter was at night in an area where you would expect to see a skunk, and I didn't have any open wounds, and I recalled thinking that I really wanted to scratch my eye but didn't, I was told my chances of having contracted rabies were extremely low.

But the thought still nags, you know? So I did some more digging tonight. Skunks are pretty much the source of rabies in Nebraska. In this part of the state, a few cases of bat rabies have been recently confirmed. A skunk with confirmed rabies was found not 30 miles from here in late April. I found out about the "dumb" form of rabies, which would cause a skunk to just sit there and not care about being approached.

But I tell myself, it was a young skunk--small, and without the capacity to produce a truly overwhelming quantity of musk--and probably depended on its mother for protection. So its behavior may not be unusual at all. And two nights later I walked by the same spot to see at least two skunks, possibly three; at least one of them was young and both/all of them appeared to be acting normally. I thoroughly washed the dogs, too, and found no evidence they had been bitten.

But that feeling is still nagging at me. I guess I'll make at least one more phone call tomorrow.

The Meads of Asphodel: Sonderkommando (2013)

Much Better Than Jaldaboath

Before now, I’ve been mostly uninterested in The Meads of Asphodel. Between their connection to the ridiculous Jaldaboath and the cowardice of vocalist Metatron, I just haven’t seen fit to spend any money to check them out. But presented with a promo copy of their latest album, I was definitely intrigued enough to check it out. And I have to say I’ve come around a bit.

Most simply put, The Meads of Asphodel are the UK’s answer to Sigh. Like In Somniphobia, Sonderkommando is a concept album that’s over an hour long. Like Sigh, the Meads have one foot in black metal, and the other foot chopped up and spread all over the musical landscape. Both bands’ most recent records are filled with songs of epic scope that seem to demand a listing of all their bizarre constituent parts: Sonderkommando features an extensive electric organ piece, flute, saxophone, psychedelic echo effects, accordion, strings, piano, and Motown style female backing vocals, to name a few. In other words, if you’re a fan of Sigh, your interest should be piqued.

Summary Judgments, Volume 5

As you might guess to be the case, sometimes I can tell I'm not going to like an album before I finish it. Other times, I just don't want to review the album, because I can't find anything I want to say about it or whatever. I have that luxury, but I don't want to completely ignore some of these releases either.

Those that didn't get the full treatment are collected here. As always, I mention how far I made it into the album before giving up on it.

Sofy Major: Idolize (2013)
(the whole thing, several times)

What the hell is noise rock, anyway? I liked (but didn't understand) Korperschwache, but I can't figure out what it has in common with Årabrot and Sofy Major. I also can't figure out why people make music like Årabrot and Sofy Major. I listened to this several times, and I just wanted them to stop doing what they were doing and just sound more like Baroness.

Leviticus: The Strongest Power (1985)

On the Rock

I don’t normally bother with reviewing a reissue, but when a non-Christian label takes an interest in a long-forgotten Christian metal band, that’s something worth noting. I was intrigued, to say the least.

My son recently finished Vacation Bible School. The theme was “Kingdom Rock,” and as much as I enjoy watching the kids while they’re singing along to the music . . . the music itself can only be described as insipid. Leviticus could have saved it. Lyrically it’s all along the same lines, but it’s a lot more energetic and a whole lot less repetitive.

Locrian: Return to Annihilation (2013)

Ambient? Hardly.

Dark ambient is a genre that’s often talked about within metal circles, but I suspect most metalheads don’t really get it. Usually, I don’t. Every now and then I’ll try an album, usually come away perplexed, and mostly forget about it.

Locrian is the one dark ambient band that I think I’m finally beginning to understand. I’ve been listening to Return to Annihilation regularly since getting the promo back in May, and it’s steadily been growing on me. But I don’t really know much about the genre, or its language. Hell, I’m not even sure what instruments are used here. The prospect of actually writing a review, you can guess, is daunting. So here goes nothing.

This Is How You Die

Machine of Death is a collection of short stories selected from 700 submissions, all based on a very simple premise. A machine can tell you how you will die, but the answer it gives you will turn out to be a Twilight Zone kind of twist.

The problem with the machine is that nobody really knew how it worked, which wouldn’t actually have been that much of a problem if the machine worked as well as we wished it would. But the machine was frustratingly vague in its predictions: dark, and seemingly delighting in the ambiguities of language. OLD AGE, it had already turned out, could mean either dying of natural causes, or shot by a bedridden man in a botched home invasion. The machine captured that old-world sense of irony in death — you can know how it’s going to happen, but you’ll still be surprised when it does.

It was put together by two of my favorite webcomic creators and a third guy, who may also be a webcomic creator--I haven't actually looked into that.

The stories don't typically explore the premise through stories through a "who can make the best twist" method. Instead, they focus on how the machine changes society. They range from thought-provoking, to funny, to really dark. And since it's all about death, I think you guys will like it.

The first book beat Glenn Beck's new book to #1 on Amazon, which pissed him off enough to talk about it on his show. On Tuesday the sequel This Is How You Die came out. I just bought my copy. The creators are running a campaign to get to the New York Times bestseller list, so they want you to buy it by Saturday. I think you should.

Buy This Is How You Die: Stories of the Inscrutable, Infallible, Inescapable Machine of Death

Also, buy Machine of Death: A Collection of Stories About People Who Know How They Will Die

Deafheaven: Sunbather (2013)

So They’re Hipsters. Does It Matter?

When I reviewed Deafheaven’s first album, I simultaneously reviewed Liturgy’s Aesthethica, musing on whether it really matters that they’re hipsters. OK, it may be taken as a matter of public record that I don’t really know what defines a hipster any better than anyone else does, but they sure look like hipsters. And if you Google them, you’re going to run across Pitchfork, AV Club, and PopMatters before you’re going to run across anything on a legit metal site.

Regardless of hipster status, I gave Roads to Judah 3.5 out of 5 stars. I concluded that in the case of Deafheaven, “I’ll welcome them to the fold.” Now we’re confronted with their second album, both highly anticipated and highly divisive. Are they still worthy of the attention of metalheads, or should we leave them to the more adventurous of the indie rock crowd?