Goatloard: Demo '87 / Reh. '88 and Sodomize the Goat (1988)

Caprine Rectal Copulation

It's amazing just how many completely unknown bands have been lost to history, only to be exhumed by those dedicated to revealing these lost treasures. Of course, some of them should have stayed buried. Which one is Goatlord?

First, I've gotta say how much I enjoy the crudely-drawn album art for these two records. They look like they were sketched during third-period social studies class by the eighth grade boy that none of the girls want to talk to. But I don't think that dude's sodomizing that goat, as the title suggests. Based on the angle it looks more like he's performing the more traditional form of beastiality.

I think by now you should know whether you want to read the rest of this review. Ask yourself: Are you the kind of person who wants to listen to an album with a crudely-drawn image of beastiality on the cover? (If you're reading my blog, I assume your answer is "yes.")


Goatloard is billed as an early pioneer of death/doom, from Nevada. That was kind of a surprise to me as I thought death/doom emerged around 1990 in the U.K. Upon hearing these albums, I quickly realized they weren't so much a death/doom band as a death metal band that would sometimes play their songs really slow. None of the rhythms feel like death/doom to me. It's sort of like the question of whether Venom was really a black metal band.

The sound quality is surprisingly not awful, although the demo/rehearsal has some expectedly uneven production. The band's sound, as well, is exactly what you'd want from a long-forgotten death metal band.

But sometimes, there's a reason bands are forgotten to time. And in this case, it's not just because they were in Vegas instead of Tampa. The riffs just aren't there. They're almost pathetically straight-forward with painfully predictable rhythmic patterns that are all pretty much a gray blur. No hooks. No excitement. No surprises. And I can't shake the feeling that they might have played some of these songs really slow because they just weren't tremendously skilled musicians. Sort of like the skill of their cover artist. Sometimes a lack of skill engenders some unexpected innovation, or sheer enthusiasm makes up for it, or a knack for writing hooks renders it unimportant. Nothing like that was happening here.

Don't get me wrong. A couple of the songs were decent. But none of them demand that I revisit this.





The Verdict:
Demo '87 / Reh '88: 2 out of 5 stars
Sodomize the Goat: 2 out of 5 stars