Cataleptic: Strength Within (2011)

Groove vs. Redundancy

Guest review by Patrick, proprietor of Beards Etc., home of metal, beards, and more.

Cataleptic are a Finnish death-doom group who released their full-length debut Strength Within last December. They have released some previous demos, but prior to this record I had never heard the band.

There are only 5 tracks on the album, but 3 of them eclipse the 10 minute mark so the total length is respectable. As you would expect, the music here is heavy and slow-paced. The guitar chugs away on the early portions of the album, playing riffs which are often simplistic yet effective in a punk sort of way. Here they are just slowed way down and played with a much beefier tone. The later tracks move into more melodic territory, still not getting particularly complex or varied with the riffs, but managing a clear shift in tone that keeps the album from growing stale as it progresses. The bass makes its presence felt, adding some depth to the mix. This is particularly true on the monumental 15-minute closer "Secluded Path" where it departs distinctly from the guitar lines in several places. The drums, as is typical in slower metal, are used sparsely to pace and augment the music without ever rising to the foreground.

Sigh: In Somniphobia (2012)

Bring Me a Dream

My dreams are stupid. Where brilliant artists of all stripes often claim inspiration from dreams, I can't find any. The only time I ever had an interesting dream was when Admiral Ackbar was a minister. Other than that, it's mundane. And I've never in my life had a nightmare. I'm probably wired wrong.

So the theme of Sigh's In Somniphobia doesn't exactly speak to me. It appears to be a concept record about dreams, nightmares, and (if the title is appropriate) fear of sleep. But the music is something I can't get out of my head. Japan's premier avant-garde metallers (they can no longer lay claim to being a black metal band) have created a richly complex sonic vision that never ceases to amaze me.

Zwartplaag: Haatstorm (2010)

Acme Theatrical Haat Co.

Bugs' Bonnets is an excellent Looney Tunes short wherein a truck carrying costume hats loses all its contents in the wind. The hats land on Bugs Bunny or Elmer Fudd, dramatically altering the way they behave, changing them to gangster, cop, judge, mobster, soldier, Pilgrim, Indian, bride--whatever.

Haatstorm is a concept album based on that. You might think that's a pretty left-field idea for a black metal album, but if you think about it . . . OK, so this intro is a lie. I only wish it were true. I actually have no idea what it's about.

Zwartplaag's first full-length is the last of the four albums submitted to me by Heidens Hart. I liked the other three. This record simply has nothing to offer. They play plain-old black metal without any twist to the formula. The riffs are uninteresting and forgettable. The production is all wrong, with over-loud vocals and artificial-sounding drums. The Nargaroth-esque guitar tone doesn't have much impact here, either.

It is exactly the kind of album that gets good reviews from people who think black metal must adhere to a particular formula, and who are more concerned about being trve than being good. That's not me.

So, I thought, why bother to finish it? I issue summary judgment against Zwartplaag.



Heidens Hart Records

Schoenberg Is Metal

"My music is not lovely."

Photo by Florence Homolka

When a co-worker asked me about my favorite classical composer a couple years ago, I responded that it was Tchaikovsky. His symphonies can be exceedingly dark, so that attracted me. My co-worker responded that it was a good choice--he was afraid I was going to say something crazy, like Schoenberg. Naturally, that piqued my interest. I picked some up, after a bit of research, and soon informed my co-worker that I loved it.

"Of course you do."

Austrian-born composer Arnold Schoenberg is quoted as saying, "My music is not lovely." Instantly, metalheads should have an appreciation for him. You need another reason? He also said, ". . . if it is art, it is not for all, and if it is for all, it is not art."

Centurion: Serve No One (2012)

Wal-Mart Employee Motto

With all the Polish death metal bands reviewed on this site lately, it's easy to lump another one into the "sounds just like Vader and Behemoth" pile. It's actually refreshing to lump one into a different pile of bands.

Centurion is a Polish death metal band out of Warsaw. They just released their second full-length this year, Serve No One, a decade after their debut. Instead of being Vader sound-alikes, they ape Suffocation's brutal-technical approach. And they play it well, with their modern production sounding akin to the New York band's more recent work. Since they copy Suffocation, and capably, they're awesome. No question of that.

Asphyx: Deathhammer (2012)

If All You Have Is a Hammer . . .

Dutch legends Asphyx aren't old-school death metal, but they're not modern death metal either. They're not quite slow enough to be death/doom, they're not quite Swedish-sounding enough to be Swe-death, and they're not tech-death either. Thus, the title of Deathhammer is particularly apt.

Sometimes, a hammer is exactly what you need. It's nothing fancy. It's not controversial. It doesn't have a particularly compelling story behind it. But when you need a hammer, you damn well need a hammer. There's no fancy new tool that can do the job any better, and no "good old days" when there used to be a better tool.

KozybunX: Practice Room Demo.N (2011)

Kozywtf?

Guest review by Metallattorney. He is the law.

I have no idea what this name is supposed to represent. It looks more like someone's ill-conceived chatroom screen name than the name of a band. Furthermore, it certainly does not seem to be the kind of name a stoner doom metal band would choose. It seems much more likely to be chosen by a pop group or some other mainstream atrocity. But nevertheless, here we are, with KozybunX bringing some interesting Electric Wizard-esque psychedelic stoner doom.

KozybunX are a four-piece doom metal group who apparently recorded this demo in their practice room. Nonetheless, the production values are actually quite impressive. This sounds every bit as powerful and heavy as anything that the aforementioned Electric Wizard put out. The riffs are slow and muddy, just the way stoner doom should be. They have a very thick bottom end that gives the atmosphere a sense of gloom and desolation. The demo as a whole gives off a feeling of impending doom, which I guess is kind of the point of the whole genre.

Wrest, TTTW, and Sexual Assault Charges

True Evidence, True Law

There's been a lot of discussion about Leviathan's recent album, True Traitor, True Whore, and what that says about Wrest's current legal predicament. In case you're not aware, a former girlfriend has accused him of sexually assaulting her with a tattoo gun. (Wrest is the sole member of Leviathan, and a tattoo artist.) I don't intend to go into questions of guilt, innocence, truth or falsehood of the allegations, or what really happened. What I do want to talk about is what Wrest is facing, and how his latest album could bear on those charges. It's an unusual intersection of two areas of my interest: metal and law.

Given the charges he's facing, many are shocked at the album's quite frank comment. The title itself displays a possibly misogynistic attitude, and with song titles including "Harlot Rises", "True Whorror", and "Every Orifice Yawning Her Price", that doesn't appear to help matters much. Everyone knows that "what you say can and will be used against you in a court of law". But does this really get admitted into evidence?

Sabbat: Sabbatrinity (2011)

Haiku

Sigh is ever strange.
Boris plays every style.
Sabbat will just rock.



(The Verdict: Four out of five stars.)

Buy Sabbatrinity

My Take on the Ozzy and Sharon Split

You've probably already heard it somewhere else before coming here, but Ozzy has announced that, after nearly 30 years of marriage, he has filed for divorce from wife/manager/puppetmaster Sharon. I know plenty has already been said on the subject, but I wanted to add my two cents.

I can't help but speculate that maybe, just maybe, with the "digital bitch" gone, that the forthcoming album might actually be worth something. Here's hoping.