Sigur Rós: Kveikur (2013)

Maybe I’m Going Soft

Patrick, longtime reader and erstwhile reviewer for this blog, recently commented on his shock that I would praise something as hipster-sounding as True Widow so highly. This might be a step further. I’m not going to give Sigur Rós quite such a stellar review, but they may be the most hipster-ish thing I’ve ever liked.

I’ve been vaguely aware of the Icelandic post-rock band for a while now, and what I had read about them intrigued me. So I looked them up, and saw the video for “Brennisteinn.” That was pretty damn awesome. They use strings and cinematic songwriting like a lot of metal bands who, to be fair, were probably influenced by Sigur Rós. And whatever they’re doing to make that bass-y sound like a giant alien robot in some apocalyptic movie, I could do with more of that.

Metal Briefs: EPs of 2013

Quickly, There's No Time

Sometimes, it's good to be brief and to the point.

Arkhamin Kirjasto: Undead Priest of Holy Trinity of Death
4 out of 5 stars

Parts of the title track sound just like something Solefald did a few years back, or maybe like something Ghost would do. Other than that, this EP is full of that awesome sing-along heavy metal with Swe-death veneer that Arkhamin Kirjasto introduced us to last year. They're easily one of the most interesting and entertaining bands in Finland right now.

Vasaeleth: All Uproarious Darkness (2013)

Lean and Filthy

The sophomore LP from Vasaeleth was easily one of my most anticipated albums of the year. But when I got the promo, I was initially disappointed. Only 19 minutes long? This isn't grindcore--that's not supposed to be long enough to make a full-length. After repeated listens, I got it, and disappointment is no longer a concern.

Crypt Born & Tethered to Ruin was a bit of a sleeper hit back in 2010. The band's ultra-filthy Incantation-inspired death metal was rightly recognized as some of the best the old-school death metal revival has to offer. It didn't hurt that the album's centerpiece "Gateway to the Cemetery of Being" spreads like gangrene from your ears into every part of your central nervous system. All Uproarious Darkness--a more appropriate album title there never was--continues in that infected vein.

True Widow: Circumambulation (2013)

Syrup

True Widow isn’t really a metal band, strictly speaking. But Circumambulation was released on Relapse, so you can be sure that it’s worth checking out anyway. In particular, it should draw the attention of fans of Kylesa’s recent output.

“Syrupy” is an adjective I’ve seen used to describe the band’s sound, and I find it to be apt. This record is full of shoegaze-y, laid-back stoner rock submerged in tree blood. That’s quite the pleasant vibe to follow for the course of an album, but it gets even better than that.

Powerwolf: Preachers of the Night (2013)

Res Ipsa Loquitur

Review--or, rather, an argument--by joanismylover, the third metal attorney.

The issue on this review is why anyone would listen to Powerwolf. The elements that constitute heavy metal music are at least one of the following: 1. swagger that snaps necks and/or dual guitar harmonies that invoke Wayne's World air guitar outbreaks; 2. "dangerous" or at least a little sinister, or, in the alternative, transcendent and uplifting amid thunder or sludge; or, 3. fucking loud.^^ The rule assumes the heavy metal music is purveyed by at least one guitar and actual drums, bass being helpful and keyboards being muted or hidden backstage, a la Dio in the early 80s.* This review will argue that Powerwolf - and by extension a great deal of European "power" "metal" - is not heavy metal at all, having no swagger, lacking danger, and not being very loud.

The 7 Most Metal Bible Stories

I've asserted that the Bible is the most metal book ever written. Whether you agree or not, it's plain that it does have some really brutal stuff in it. I have gathered here seven of the most metal Bible passages. There's no preaching here (if you want that, you can stay after class). Even if you know all these stories, I might be able to add some new context.

7. Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah

The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were full of sinners, so God decided to destroy them. After warning Abraham's nephew Lot to escape, he rained down burning sulfur. This would have smelled awful, but looked awesome: Burning sulfur turns to a blood red liquid, and the flames are blue. The gas released would have suffocated anyone who escaped the blaze.

6. The Plagues



This video is a great idea, but pretty poorly executed. I hardly need to say anything about the tenth plague, because you know the words of the song by heart. And my 8th grade music teacher at my parochial school indicated the lyrics are Biblically accurate. It's pretty badass that blood was what marked the Israelites to be saved. What might be less obvious is how metal some of the other plagues were. The Nile turned to blood, a plague of skin boils afflicted the Egyptians (Death's "Leprosy" comes to mind), and the sun was blotted out for three days.

Túrin Turambar: Rzeczpospolita Czartowska (2013)

I will slay thee swiftly.

Túrin Turambar is one of my favorite literary characters, and perhaps the most interesting figure in Tolkien’s work. He’s based on Kullervo of the Finnish epic Kalevala, but to anyone who’s not an expert in Finnish folklore he seems like a combination of Siegfried and Job. Túrin is a mighty hero who fights with a black sword forged out of a meteor, but whose life is cursed by the malevolent will of an evil deity. Seriously, you should read The Children of Húrin, at a minimum.

And, pro tip for any metal band looking for a name: Fingolfin might be the coolest J.R.R. character who doesn’t have a band named after him. Yet.

Poland’s Túrin Turambar obviously have good taste in Tolkien characters. Rzeczpospolita Czartowska is the second full-length from this band who are billed as an avant-garde black metal trio.

Ephemeros: All Hail Corrosion (2013)

Hail the Funeral

Have I mentioned that funeral doom is a ridiculously easy genre to play, and a monumentally difficult genre to play well? Have I previously emphasized that you can’t just listen to a few minutes on Youtube (or Soundcloud or Bandcamp or whatever) and make a reasonable assessment of a funeral doom band? Good. With that in mind, let’s talk about Ephemeros.

All Hail Corrosion is the debut record from this Oregonian band, and it will be released August 20. You should consider purchasing it. It’s got all the tension and pure “heavy” that you need.

De Arma: Lost, Alien & Forlorn (2013)

Irrational Gaze

When I listened to De Arma’s Lost, Alien & Forlorn the first time, I didn’t expect to like it. I’ve never liked Alcest, and this band’s soft, often pretty post-black metal bears a strong resemblance to Alcest. In spite of myself, I found myself listening to this record again and again.

Like Alcest, black metal is just a small part of what De Arma does. It has a lot more in common with some things I’m barely familiar with from my occasional Spotify listening: The gothic rock and mellower post-punk it plays when I click on Killing Joke, the shoegaze when I click on Slowdive. I don't really get into any of that (aside from Killing Joke themselves). I don’t typically like breathy clean singing when it’s the primary vocal delivery. But something about De Arma is just infectious.

Power Trip: Manifest Decimation (2013)

Full-On Nuclear Assault

Review by Metallattorney. He is the law.

If there is one style of metal that has kind of passed me by to my regret, it is crossover. I just do not have a lot of experience listening to the subgenre. But that is slowly starting to change. It all started a few months ago when I was listening to my Skullcrushers compilation, which has tracks from Exodus, Megadeth, Celtic Frost, Voivod and more, when all of a sudden this track came up that I had heard a million times before, but it just stuck with me. That song was from Nuclear Assault and it was called "Critical Mass". Corrosion of Conformity's "Loss for Words" and Prong's "Beg to Differ" also appeared in the compilation and grabbed my attention. All of a sudden, crossover clicked for me.

Obviously I would not be telling this long-ass, boring story if there were not some connection to this review. Some day I will tell a boring long story that has absolutely no relevance to the review just to keep readers on their toes.* But that will not be this day.