Crosses and Homecoming Queens

Lights back on, the officer administers a simple walk-and-turn (WAT) test. The suspect fails to follow almost all the directions, muttering about ninjas all the while.
Ninja wannabe. Aren't they all? Not really an interesting story aside from the drunk suspect asking the officer whether he qualifies as a ninja.

The city of Las Cruces' official emblem has three crosses that a federal lawsuit alleges are unconstitutional religious symbols on public property.
The lawsuit, filed Sept. 16 in U.S. District Court in Albuquerque, seeks the removal of the crosses.
Oh, for the love of all that you're free to not believe in. The city's freaking name is "The Crosses." Give it a rest. If there was ever a ridiculous 1st Amendment claim, this is it, my friends. Soon we'll have people suing schools and public libraries because they use books, and Christianity/Judaism/Islam all have holy books, so the symbol of the book offends them. Give it a rest, and let it stop here.

She wants to be known as an advocate for the elderly, but students at Northeastern State University know 71-year-old Muriel Saunders as their homecoming queen.
Cute story. She's probably just a really hot 71-year-old cancer survivor.

A long quest for booty from the Spanish colonial era appears to be culminating in Chile with the announcement by a group of adventurers that they have found an estimated 600 barrels of gold coins and Incan jewels on the remote Pacific island.
Aaaarrrrrrr . . . I knew I left me buried treasure somewheres . . . . Ten billion dollars in gold doubloons . . . avast . . . .

The partygoers who witnessed the shooting beat the alleged gunman and then kept him in their custody until police arrived.
These people are hardcore, definitely my kind of party.

Wardens in Georgia’s Rustavi prison camp have discovered a 12-meter tunnel made by inmates who planned to escape, the Georgia News reported on Friday.
The tunnel was 85 centimeters in diameter and equipped with electrical lights.
Electric lights? Sweet. Those prisoners should get jobs in construction for the government when they get out.