Friday, June 30, 2006

If I Had a Metal Band

If you don't mind, I'm going to dream a bit here. All through high school and up until now, it's always been a dream of mine to be a vocalist in a metal band. It's a dream that I barely pursued in high school and undergrad and I have since abandoned. But here is what my ideal band would be like.

We would be a little bit of math metal (Meshuggah), a little bit of death metal (Lamb of God, etc.), a little bit of Slipknot, and of course I would throw in a healthy dose of King Diamond style falsetto singing. Aside from maybe doing a cover album, they would all be concept albums. They would mostly be in the mold of Iced Earth's Something Wicked This Way Comes, with Apocalyptic imagery and stories, but it would be entirely tongue-in-cheek, and a little satirical.

Our first album would follow the Grim Reaper, or Death, if you prefer, in the present day. He of course is falling behind in his work because of advanced medical technology, increased population, and outdated equipment. So he does the logical thing: he trades in his scythe for a combine.

So it would seem we would also have a bit of a rural theme. So I would dress accordingly, with trucker hats and so forth, but all with more of a metal message to them.

Anyway, yeah, that's what I'd do.


  1. Yeah...too bad your vocals really, REALLY suck.

  2. I've never heard your vocals before, but I can't imagine you screaming at the top of your lungs, nor could I imagine a lawyer who is in a metal band on the side... I have to say, I'm kind of intrigued by the idea.

    Can I play bass?

  3. Big Brother: I don't think you understand vocals from a death metal standpoint, which is the direction I would go. Death, with a little black.

    Why don't we all play bass? Like, three people on bass, no guitars and no drums. And someone also needs to play the bamboo flute.