Thursday, September 29, 2005

Dead deer and humped cows

"The veterinarian who examined the dead beast concluded that Rudolph had died from the shock of the deafening noise made by the fighter plane." Those dirty Danes killed Rudolph!

"These statues are evidence that the people of the region worshiped oxen and humped cows 3000 years ago." I think they should rephrase their statement. If you can't figure out how to rephrase, then you will forever be amused.

"Firing 77 bullets, cops wounded an ex-con early yesterday after he shot at another man and turned his weapon on police outside a Manhattan housing project, authorities and witnesses said." That's right, this guy is a badass. 77 bullets, and he's only injured.

"Investigators found the dead deer inside the ambulance." That is a phrase I never thought I'd read.

"CCTV footage shows a group of men tipping Wayne Griffin into a bin which hours later was collected by a compactor in Perth." Drink responsibly, or get crushed.

An attorney used the argument that his client wasn't smart enough to do the crime. Seems to me it doesn't take a genius to smash a baby.

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