Crash It Your Way

WAUSAU, Wis. - A man whose car ran into the front entry of a fast-food restaurant backed away, parked and went in for breakfast, officials say.

That's really cool. I wouldn't let a little thing like a car crash get in between me and breakfast. Especially not when I'm 78 years old and hungry. This reminds me of the old days working at Target. You know how every elerly person goes to the same place every morning to eat breakfast and either read the paper or talk with other elderly people? Let's call that place the denture destination. Target in Norfolk, Nebraska is the denture destination for some. (It has a little restaruant and opens an hour before the rest of the mall.) The thing is, for the elderly being the first person in the door at the denture destination on a given morning makes them the freaking cock of the walk. When they unlock those doors they race in there, and they will crush anyone who stands in their way. It's the day after Thanksgiving (Black Friday) every day for those people.

A final note on the story:

General manager Kathy Fasse declined to say what he ordered.

You call this news? I'm infuriated that I don't know what he ordered! But seriously, it would have added to the overall feel of the story if we did know, but since she didn't say . . . don't you think they could have left that out of the story altogether? I guess they have their priorities straight.