Smoking Chimp, Vibrators, and 10-year-old Martial Arts Experts

First of all, the new Supreme Court nominee's blog. She's a real smart cookie, that one.

An Oregon woman whose doctor convinced her that he could cure her lower back pain by having sex with her is suing him and his medical clinic for $4 million, according to legal documents obtained Monday.

OK, I understand that people are stupid, but nobody is stupid enough to believe that. In other news, since when do doctors, of all people, need to resort to lying to get sex? Don't other guys usually tell women that they are doctors in order to get them into the rumpus room?

A group of German teenagers disguised as policemen to frisk the attendants of a beer festival in Munich. The teenagers pretended to be looking for weapons in the crowd of tourists, who came for Octoberfest in the capital of Bavaria.

Yeah, that's the other one. If the guy doesn't claim to be a doctor, he'll claim to be a cop. But seriously, guys, everyone's had this idea. I applaud these German teens for taking the initiative to actually go through with it.

Star Wars was named the top movie musical score of all time by a crappy goth-wannabe band. I could have told them that. Mr. Williams also got on there for E.T.

A chimpanzee in a Chinese zoo has successfully kicked a 16-year smoking habit after becoming hooked when two spouses died and her daughter left, state press said on Monday.

I can't make this stuff up.

Minnesota-based Target is one of the national chains that will be carrying a new line of women's products that includes a vibrator.

Design for everyone indeed, Target.

A frightening experience for twin 10-year-old girls allegedly involving a man who had taught the girls martial arts at a school in Vienna. . . . Jacobs taught the girls martial arts at a Vienna school, and apparently did a pretty good job, judging by the bruises seen on his face in court Monday. Police say he got a black eye and other injuries when the girls fought back during the break in.

You taught them too well, sensei.



Iron Maiden want to play a gig on an airplane to get into the Guinnes Book. "The band says they would love to break the record for the highest live performance and insist they could easily achieve this feat."

Evangelism and erotic underwear are rarely linked outside the tabloid newspapers. But a new book backed by a Church of England bishop urges Christians to spread the message to their friends and neighbours by hosting lingerie parties.

OK, this is just sexy. Come on over, Debbie, and try on some sexy lingerie for your husband. Also, Jesus loves you, and he thinks you look good in those panties too. "Other opportunities to spread the faith include knitting groups and book clubs." That sounds a little better . . . but out of place in the same article.