Tuesday, February 21, 2006


A gas station here in Lincoln, Nebraska, sold a winning Powerball ticket. The perplexing thing to me is that several people have claimed to have the winning ticket. Why would someone do such a thing? I imagine it goes like this:
(Phone rings, chuckling in background)
Caller: Shut up, guys! Shut up, it's ringing.
Answer: Hello?
Caller: Yeah, I have the winning ticket.
Caller: (muffled) Shut up. Sssshhhhhh.
Answer: Are you still there?
Caller: Yeah, um, so how do I get my money?
Then, in the Caller's ideal scenario, comes the meeting, where our friend the Caller shows up to claim his prize.
"Um, you give me the money first, then I'll give you the ticket." They hand over a briefcase like illegal arms dealers in the movies. Caller reaches into his pockets, says, "I must have left it in my other jeans. I'll just head home to get it. I'll be right back, I swear."
What kind of benefit do these hoaxers think they'll get? At least one of them made the announcement in a bar. It's not like anyone's going to buy you a drink for it. You just claimed to have an interest in over $300 million. At best, they'll expect you to buy a round of drinks. You might get some bimbo into bed, but it's not likely. At worst, the patrons will beat you and search your unconscious person, then steal your keys and ransack your car and house, then, failing to find the ticket, burn your house to the ground because "If I can't have it, no one can." Does this happen every time a winning lotto ticket is sold in a town?


  1. That's hilarious. I've never heard of people claiming to have the ticket (usually the winners want to be anonymous anyway).

    Nice blog! I'll be back! I'm linking you on my page.

  2. Maybe they're the same people who call the police and 'fess up to crimes they didn't commit?

    Or maybe they're just idiots. Either way...

    I definitely can picture some Beavis & Butthead-loving losers making that call, though.

  3. I bought a powerball ticket once.