Tuesday, March 07, 2006

More Blog Ideas

Like I noted yesterday, there simply are not enough blogs out there. And I know many of you want to start a blog, but you don’t know what to write about. I’m here to help. And I think the best place to start is with other successful blog ideas, and give them a bit of a twist. Feel free to take any of these ideas (and I’d appreciate a link back).

A Taste of Heaven

Many of you may have already seen cooking blogs. They usually include recipes and pictures of the food. And I imagine that the recipes are pretty good. But the premise behind this cooking blog is a little twisted. “A Taste of Heaven” is exactly not what it says—the recipes are 90% accurate, but one of the ingredients is wrong. It could be far too much salt or Tabasco Sauce. It could be cumin or paprika where they don’t belong. Or it could include impossible instructions, like “wait until it turns golden-brown” when in fact it will never turn golden-brown. As an added bonus, it should often use expensive ingredients, like lobster or crab. That way people dump a lot of money into having a nice candlelit dinner at home, and when they bite in they get a surprise. Reading the blog itself won’t be all that funny, unless people try it out and put stuff in the comments.

A Mommy Blog

Mommy blogs are pretty popular. You don’t have to actually have kids to start one of your own. Talk about how your kids are little brats. Tell people about how you made your kids drink hot sauce when they mouthed off to you (and mouthing off could be something very small, like a single “I don’t want to”). Lock your kids in the closet. If you want them to have a happy day, tell them how you brought your kids to the bar and you passed out. If someone tells you you’re a bad mother, or a monster, just tell them that they can’t tell you how to raise your kids.

True Crime in [Your City]

Scan your local newspaper for unsolved crimes. Tell stories on your blog about how you were the one who committed the crime. Make sure to include a lot of details. On second thought, this might be obstruction of justice, so just make it up. Solicit your readers for their home addresses. Have a Paypal donation function. Post your plans for upcoming crimes. Create an entire persona for your blogger, including a photo.

The Drunk Race

Some people start blogs to follow some task that they’ve chosen. One blogger decided to collect change to see how much money he could get. Your task: start drinking. Your posts will likely be incoherent, but that will add to the realism. See how long you can stay drunk. And don’t think of death from alcohol poisoning as failure, but rather think of it as taking it to the next level. It’s dedication. (You might want to get someone to sign a liver donor contract first.)

My Gothic Hell

I started with heaven, so I end with hell. Adopt a gothic persona. Search around on MySpace for about . . . three seconds is all it should take . . . to find some gothic person who has posted pictures of themselves. Use them to identify your gothic persona. Then take little things in your life that nobody cares about and vent about them. Make them all seem like the end of the world, and everyone’s out to get you. Talk about cutting yourself. Write bad poetry. And after you develop a significant following, post a long suicide note on the blog and never post again.

2 comments:

  1. Kelly,

    Have a look at Technorati. They claim to be tracking 30 million sites and 2.1 billion links now. Ramos' figure is from 2004; the "blogosphere" has exploded since then.

    This link gives you the results for your blog. When I ran it just now, your "Technorati Rank" came back as 93,972, with 69 links from 27 sites.

    FWIW

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, my statistics in the last such post must have been a bit old. Perhaps it was tracking only active blogs? In any case, I think this clearly isn't enough. We need more people on this blogging thing! If we don't get more blogs out there now, it will never catch on.

    ReplyDelete